Tuesday, June 8, 2010

New Rules

Since the last post was so heavy, I thought I'd switch it up with something lighter. Stealing outright from comedian Bill Mahr, here are the New Rules, Casey-style:

New Rule: If you invite someone over to your place for dinner, you should sweep the kitty litter off the kitchen floor. Here's a novel idea: Move the kitty litter box ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THE KITCHEN.

New Rule: If you have cats, you should de-fur your couch if you want any action. A little cat hair is to be expected, but if you can't see the cushions for the fur, you have a problem.

New Rule: If you can hear the mice in your walls, do not invite anyone over until you've a) called your landlord, and b) fired your many cats.

New Rule: If you invite someone over to your place, the bathroom should, if anything, smell like cleaning supplies, not urine.

New Rule: If your bedroom is so dirty that you borrow the roommate's room for making out, you are not ready to date. Go back and try again.

New Rule: If you walk into any of the above mentioned situations, turn around. Don't take the hit for someone else's bad sense of appropriate. Teach him a lesson and make him a better boyfriend... for someone else.

Now, off to scrub myself with antibacterial soap for about three hours...

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